Ok… I have to rant. I’ve had more than a couple of people mention to me in the past month that they don’t want to raise their kids in TX because they don’t want their kids to be a Texan, have a bad education, or grow up to be a cowboy, etc etc etc.
So, what makes people think that society creates and molds your kids how it wants to? I may end up eating this words in 20 years, but I really believe that the biggest influence on a kid is the family. Period. No if’s and’s or but’s. If you really don’t want your kid to smoke, drink, or wear a belt buckle, then take a big interest in their development, especially at a young age, and instill in them those beliefs.
I’ve had people tell me that once a kid gets in school, their friends will end up being their biggest influence, and they’ll cave to peer pressure on any issue. Bullshit. I’m old, but not so old that I don’t remember college, high school, jr high, etc. You don’t think I remember peer pressure? Did I give in to every peer pressure situation? Obviously not. Was I a stupid kid? Sure… but when it came to things that my parents and family thought was particularly important, I didn’t just abandon what had been taught to me and throw it in the face of my parents, no matter how rebellious I was feeling that day.
Someone asked me once I started school if I was more influenced by friends’ fashion, or my parents. Well, you know, I wore what my parents bought me. They instilled in me from a young age the belief that people are more than the clothes they wear, and that name brands were not substitute for personality. As such, yes, my parents’ sense of "fashion" influenced me more than my friends’.
I hate hate hate the idea that parents today have, that they are helpless when it comes to influencing their kids, and that society is the greatest influence in a child’s life… it’s not!! Truthfully, I think a lot of parents use it as an excuse so that they don’t have to be more involved in their kids’ lives… if something goes wrong, just blame it on society. Parents should take responsibility for their kids, their beliefs, their morals, their actions, and their education.
Education… I had someone tell me that because I grew up in the #49 state in education, and they grew up in a top 10 state, I missed some opportunities that they had as a kid. Sorry, but I have to call bullshit there, too. First, let me point out the law of averages… Even the #1 state has bad schools. Would you rather your child grow up in the best schools in a low ranked state, or the worst schools of a top ranked state? ‘Cause, ya know, the schools around here are exceptionally well funded (oil and government, hello), and the teachers are well paid… They have more money than my school did.
I grew up in the top school district in the state. My teachers were amazing. My AP Physics teacher was an architect that decided to teach. Our drama teacher had three Master’s degrees. Our spanish teacher had three degrees and spoke four languages very fluently. And I dare anyone to find a better creative writing teacher than the one we had. I didn’t miss any opportunities to be better educated.
For that matter, Deedee was home schooled.. Yet, she actually outscored me on key college entrance exams (not that she’d ever brag about it), and she got the top scholarship at Rice the year she was admitted! What does it matter what state she grew up in? she and I grew up in the poorest states in the union with the lowest ranked schools. so what!!! does that cheapen us as people? does it diminish our accomplishments? does it make us sub-standard? Because I tell you what, I’m here at NASA, with some of the "top minds" (blah blah blah), surrounded by rich people with degrees from preppy schools all over the nation, and I’d match myself against all of them, both in intellect and being a well-rounded human. same goes for Deedee.
The fact is simply that I refuse to be dimished because of where I came from. And the same goes for my kids. I have to raise them here because this is where my job is, and it’s where I want to be. I completely, absolutely, resolutely, vehemently refuse to believe that my children will grow up to be just like a few, loud, stereotypical people who happened to be born and raised in Texas. I also wouldn’t let them grow up to be redneck racists in MS, or hicks in AL, or bumpkin corn farmers in NE, or cab drivers in NJ.
Every place also has people who think they’re better because of where they came from… even saying that "well, at least we don’t think we’re better than everyone else" is a way of saying you’re better than everyone because ______. Again, you don’t want your kids to grow up like that, then don’t let them. Teach them humility and respect for people’s differences.
Every place has stereotypes. the thing that keeps kids from becoming them? Parents.
Actually, Deedee got more presents from my parents than I did… I’m not quite sure what that says, but it’s worth noting.