I don’t care if, in whatever country you’re from, it is considered a wonderful way to say hello by leaning over someone, brushing their hands off of their keyboard and mouse, using their computer, and then putting a bunch of juicy, greasy fingerprints all over their monitor, here, in MY country, in MY cubical, by God, do NOT touch my #@*&%@# monitor!

And if that’s not enough, he touched the thing once, and I politely picked up a napkin and cleaned his grease smear off of my monitor as a polite way to say, “bad grease ball, no touchy!” and he doesn’t get it… he keeps touching my monitor. he touches it to point out painfully obvious stuff, he touches it to make a point, and he runs his fingers back and forth on the screen when he reads text! that one kills me. What kind of person working on their PhD has to use their finger to keep their place when they’re reading??? especially on MY monitor? aahhhhh!!!

To top it all of, he’s one of those guys who must know everything, and whatever problem you’re having automatically is your fault. Nevermind any other circumstances…. it’s your fault. He sat here and told me, in a barely distinguishable accent,

Him: “you obviously have the wrong boundary condition… _I_ use the direct on mine, and I notice you’re using mirrored… that means you are obviously wrong”

Me: “why?”

Him: “Because I use direct, and you didn’t. Therefore, you’re wrong.”

Me: “Why? What’s the difference between direct and mirrored?”

Him: “I don’t know, but I use direct, so you need to change your input file and do all this over again.”

Excuse me, but I’m not wasting 48 hours of work just because I use a different set of inputs than you did. I really think this guy operates under the assumption that all Americans must be stupid. Meanwhile, he’s just made the list of people who are no longer allowed in my cubical…

I need a sign… one that says, “Stupid people enter at your own risk!”