Dear Thief,

Why in the hell did you steal my briefcase? What was in there that was so valuable that you would risk getting caught stealing something out of my car? That briefcase had three years of my life’s work in it. It couldn’t have been worth anything to you. So then why did you take it? Just to cause me pain and grief? Congratulations, you have… now give me back my briefcase. You might have succeeded in making it look like a random theft, if you had put a little more thought into it. Instead, you left the pool cue that was sitting on top of the briefcase. You left the $10 bill that was sitting in the front seat. And your biggest screw up was leaving the $500 video camera sitting two feet away from the briefcase. But that’s besides the point… my big question is WHY you took it.

So let’s up the ante a little, shall we? If you return my briefcase and blue book to me I’ll pay $100, no questions asked. If you return to me my briefcase and all of it’s contents intact, I’ll pay $200, no questions asked. If you show up here with my briefcase and offer me a damn good explanation as to why you took it in the first place, I’ll pay you $1000. Yes, that’s right. $1,000. That’s why I’m posting this here… to make it public and official.

Here’s the catch(es). You have 96 hours of clemency. Starting now… 6am. On Sunday, 28th, 6am, all bets are off. After that, if I can ever prove you stole my briefcase… well, let’s put it this way… I’ve been advised by a legal friend never to put threats of physical violence into writing if there is the chance you’ll follow through with them… and this is NOT an idle threat.

Very Sincerely,

Me

(There… now I can sleep)

((edit: ok… I just posted this and already I’ve had two people tell me that $1000 is just unbelievable. A thief that sees a $1000 reward will think I’m lying and will never own up. ok… $1000 for a briefcase… yeah, that’s unbelievable… but how much is it worth to know WHY someone you know would steal from you? Think of it as $200 for the briefcase and contents, and $800 for an explanation of why this person would steal from me and why they would choose that briefcase to steal. Sure… I could lower the reward to $500 and make it sound “more believable”… but the truth is, anyone who knows me knows that I can cover $1000. If I can go out today and write a check for an Impala SS or a used Surburban, then I think I can cover $1000. The offer stands… $1,000 ))