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hallaujah! I wanted to type halla ()*&)(*&)%#(*&)@#(*$&)@!#*&$ ujah, but I thought it might be over kill. I got my computer to work like it’s supposed to. For those of you I don’t get to talk to on a daily basis, my computer has been crap for about two weeks now. I couldn’t get networking to work, I caught my first virus ever, I bought a new DVD player and cd-burner and a 200 Gig HD. Right now… or actually about 30 minutes ago, I got them all to work at the same time for the first time. I had to put the DVD player on the raid controller so it wouldn’t be detected as a removable disk drive. I had to turn off buffer underrun protection in Nero. I had to buy a router. I had to rejumper my harddrives. I had to flash the bios, which caused me to have to edit the boot.ini files manually. I had to put in over 40 hours of work. and most of all, I had to give up windows XP and go back to windows 2000.

the result? the beast got a facelift. It now has a working 16X DVD, 48×12x50 CD-RW, a 200 Gig harddrive (for a total of 285 Gigs), and Richard and I can transfer files back and forth with absolutely no problems. Today’s upgrade brought to you (me) by Mother. Mother, the wonderful provider of birthday presents when you can’t afford to buy yourself anything.

Now… for the news… Celine came and visited me. Well, she really went to a flute audition, and just crashed at the house, but it was the first company I have had since I moved up here. It was great. We got to exchange happenings since graduation. I got to hear about the scandles I missed, such as the one between the trombone player named Michael and a certain high school spanish teacher we all know and love. (or at least know). and I got to tell her the complete story of how I proposed to Deedee. The only bad thing about her stay was that she left a day earlier than I thought she was going to, so we didn’t get to really do anything. I was busy the whole time she was here. ::sigh:: I miss high school and the friends I had back then. Celine and I weren’t exactly as close as say, me and brian during high school, but God knows what I would do for a friend like that up here.

and then there’s the other side of nostalgia… Catching up with one person you’ve been away from for six years really makes you realize how many people you’ve forgotten along the way. That’s always been one of my biggest problems with myself. I tend to let people slip into the past. I mean, really… how many people did I know in high school? how many of them do I know now? how many of them could I still know if I actually took the time and effort to keep in touch with people? Instead, I let them slowly drown into the past. How many hours did I spend talking to Robbie? Why is it I hadn’t even thought of him until someone mentioned that he was there when I broke my arm? Why has Heather been on my buddy list for 4 years if I never even take the time to say hi when she’s on? and now, is it just too late to try? am I now also forgotten?

Part of me has always wondered if I haven’t been doing this on purpose on some subconscious level? I’ve known for a very long time that I wouldn’t end up back in Memphis. It’s the path I’ve chosen. I’ve known this path leads away from everything I’ve known before. While I don’t dwell on the thought, it’s always there in the back of my mind that I’m just going to have to start over again when I get where I’m going. Do I forget on purpose? I feel so bad when people say to me “do you remember when…” and it’s some great story and I was part of it, and yet I can’t remember it. For every story I can tell you about high school and college, I’m sure there’s ten better ones that I’ve forgotten. and that really bothers me.

ok, I’m gonna stop now. I’m depressing myself. I’m sure it’s some combination of the fact that it’s 5am, or that I just finished with a two day trip into the past, I’m all nostalgic, or that I’m completely mentally and emotionally drained from trying to get the computer to work right, and probably a little bit of all of the above, but either way, I need to stop typing and get some sleep.

there’s fresh snow on the ground…

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