I own a gun… now let me explain… I’m driving back from Huntsville, where Brian and I spent the weekend visiting Deedee (and had lots and lots of fun because Deedee is a wonderful host and just really fun to be around), and Brian and I are talking about random things. So we drive for a while, and in the middle of Duran Duran’s “Hungry like the Wolf” I had a completely random thought: I own a gun. I haven’t thought of it in years. It’s a 410 shotgun, jr. model, that I got for Christmas before my 11th or 12th birthday. I’ve only shot it 6 times… Twice to get used to it, and then I shot a squirrel… I shot him (and hit him) 4 times before he finally died… I was expecting this sort of instant death thing, and I felt soooo bad that it took me 4 shots to kill the poor thing, that I didn’t go hunting again… So the shotgun has sat out at my grandmother’s, in her gun cabinet for years… and I hadn’t thought of it for years… until yesterday… So guess what was sitting in the den when I got home (yes, you can see it coming)… It was a gun cabinet, and sitting in the gun cabinet was my shotgun… See, my dad owns a couple of guns, but he keeps them out at his mother’s because we didn’t have any way to lock them up… Well, Grandma bought a gun safe, and Dad got her locking gun cabinet for father’s day… And now my shotgun is in the den…

There’s a problem, though… It’s a junior model shotgun… it’s too small for me to shoot… so, like I was discussing with brian in the car, I’m now thinking about turning it into a gun that I can actually use… The question is what kind of gun to get… Since I don’t do much hunting, the question also depends on what I’m gonna do with the gun once I get it… So there’s three obvious choices — shotguns, rifles, and handguns… The only thing to do with shotguns, if you don’t hunt, is trap shoot… It’s not like you can target shoot with a shotgun… Rifles would be pretty good for target shooting, but they’re not something you can transport real easy, and both shotguns and rifles are going to require a large locking case… Handguns would be ok for target shooting… not so much accuracy, but maybe a bit more fun than rifles… Plus a handgun can have a much smaller case, which makes transport a bit easier… Plus, if I ever did feel compelled, I could carry a handgun with me (with the proper permits, of course)… You can’t carry a rifle without upsetting people… but that’s the problem… would I feel compelled? I make fun of certain, unnamed people for being obsessed with their guns, and while I would never be that bad, how upset would people be if I carried a gun?

Anyway… what do you think?